My partner wants to keep our finances completely separate. Unreasonable?
The complainant says
We've been together six years, own a flat together and are planning to have kids. We split the mortgage and bills 50/50 from our own accounts, but everything else is separate. My partner earns quite a bit more than me.
I suggested opening a joint account for shared stuff and paying in proportion to what we earn, so that when we have a baby and I'm likely on reduced pay, we're a team. My partner said they don't believe in joint accounts because their parents had a messy divorce, and they'd rather just 'help out' when needed.
The other side says the partner, as the complainant tells it
My partner says keeping money separate protects both of us, and that they're not going to abandon me if I'm on maternity pay. They say 'helping out' is the same result without handing over control of their salary.
Jury discussion (5 comments)
Deliver your verdict to join the deliberation. Back to the case.
Comment on the dispute, not the people. No names, guesses about who anyone is, or abuse. Jury room rules.
'Help out' when you're raising their child is doing a lot of work in that sentence.
Proportional contributions to a joint account for shared costs is the fairest system I've ever seen. Separate accounts for the rest.
I get their fear given the parents. But this needs sorting before a baby, not after.
Honestly a session with a financial adviser as a couple might help take the emotion out of it.
Being dependent on someone choosing to help you is a vulnerable position. Your instinct is right.