Case #34402 Relationships 9,017 jurors so far

My partner reads my messages over my shoulder. Is it okay to ask them to stop?

The complainant says

Whenever I'm texting, my partner leans over and reads along, then comments. 'Why did you say that?', 'Who's that?', 'Tell her we can't come'. It's not that I'm hiding anything, I just find it really uncomfortable having someone watch me type.

I asked them to stop and they said it's weird to want privacy from your partner, and asked what I'm hiding. Now every time I tilt my phone away they make a comment about it.

The other side says the partner, as the complainant tells it

They say couples share everything and they'd happily let me read their messages. They say it's just curiosity and they find it hurtful that I act like they're snooping.

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Jury discussion (4 comments)

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Juror 6880 Voted: The complainant 40 days ago

Privacy and secrecy are not the same thing. You're allowed to text your mum without commentary.

1,500 Agree 10 Funny 4 Hmm
Juror 8499 Voted: The complainant 40 days ago

'What are you hiding' in response to a reasonable boundary is a pattern worth paying attention to.

1,100 Agree 3 Funny 20 Hmm
Juror 1118 Voted: The complainant 40 days ago

I'd find someone narrating my texts so annoying. Nothing sinister, just annoying.

690 Agree 240 Funny 3 Hmm
Juror 2737 Voted: Both have a point 39 days ago

Maybe they're a bit insecure. Worth a gentle conversation about why they want to read along.

380 Agree 1 Funny 25 Hmm

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Part of Relationships. Submitted 40 days ago. Verdicts show what the people who voted here think, based on one side's account. The majority is not necessarily right, and nobody in this case should be identifiable. If you recognise yourself or someone else, please tell us.