Am I unreasonable for moving my flatmate's dirty dishes into their room?
The complainant says
There are three of us in a small flat with one sink. One flatmate cooks elaborate dinners most nights (fair enough, they're a good cook) and then leaves every pan, plate and utensil in the sink 'to soak'. The soaking lasts until the weekend.
I've asked nicely. I've put a rota on the fridge. I've washed their stuff myself more times than I can count. Last Tuesday I needed the sink to make my lunch for work and couldn't get to the tap without moving a wok full of grey water.
So I stacked everything on a tray, carried it into their room and left it on their desk with a note saying 'these missed you'. Nothing was broken and I didn't spill anything. They came home and went off at me for going into their room without permission.
The other side says the flatmate, as the complainant tells it
They say their room is their private space and nobody should go in without asking, whatever the reason. They admit they leave the dishes too long but say they always wash them eventually, and that a text would have been enough. They also think the note was passive-aggressive and that I did it to embarrass them in front of the other flatmate.
Update from the complainant 39 days ago
We had a proper chat. They now wash up the same night and I've promised to stay out of their room. The wok lives on their shelf now.
Jury discussion (8 comments)
Deliver your verdict to join the deliberation. Back to the case.
Comment on the dispute, not the people. No names, guesses about who anyone is, or abuse. Jury room rules.
The note is what makes this. 'These missed you' is genuinely art.
I'd frame it honestly
The note is the only bit I'd say was a bit much. The dishes were fair game.
Days of soaking is not soaking, it's farming.
Going into someone's room is a line for me. I get the frustration but put them outside the door, not on the desk.
Lived with someone like this for two years. You were more patient than I was.
Their room, their rules. The sink is shared though, so they lost the moral high ground around Wednesday.
Glad you sorted it. The wok having its own shelf is a nice ending.