The jury has spoken.
13,808 jurors · 402 asked for more information
Top jury comment
'Maybe you shouldn't be a bridesmaid' over a hen do budget. Say the word and hand back the dress.
1,500 agree
Verdicts are the opinions of people who voted here, based on one side's account. The majority is not always right.
I'm a bridesmaid for a close friend. She's planned a hen do: three nights abroad, flights, a villa, activities. Total cost is about £850, and I'd need two days of annual leave. On top of that there's the dress, the wedding itself and a separate local night out.
I offered to come for the Saturday only, or to do the local night and not the trip. She said the trip is the main event, all the bridesmaids are expected to come, and if I can't make it I 'maybe shouldn't be a bridesmaid'.
She says she told everyone about the plans a year in advance so people could save, it's her once in a lifetime celebration, and that other bridesmaids with less money than me are making it work. She feels I don't prioritise her.
Deliver your verdict to join the deliberation. Back to the case.
Comment on the dispute, not the people. No names, guesses about who anyone is, or abuse. Jury room rules.
Part of Weddings. Submitted 51 days ago. Verdicts show what the people who voted here think, based on one side's account. The majority is not necessarily right, and nobody in this case should be identifiable. If you recognise yourself or someone else, please tell us.
11,878 jurors
Both and Neither votes are left out.
Judge this case : Should guests be expected to pay for their own drinks at a wedding?
7,684 jurors
Both and Neither votes are left out.
Judge this case : Should the bride's family pay for the whole wedding in this day and age?
8,721 jurors
Both and Neither votes are left out.
Judge this case : My friend didn't invite my partner of four years to her wedding. Should I still go?
'Maybe you shouldn't be a bridesmaid' over a hen do budget. Say the word and hand back the dress.
Hen dos have got completely out of hand. A nice dinner is enough.
A year's notice is helpful but it doesn't make £850 plus leave affordable for everyone.
You offered two alternatives. That's not not prioritising her.
The Saturday only option is genuinely generous considering flights.
I'd want to know if the other bridesmaids are quietly struggling too. Often they are.