My friend wants me to use my holiday allowance for a three-day hen do abroad. Can I skip part of it?
The complainant says
I'm a bridesmaid for a close friend. She's planned a hen do: three nights abroad, flights, a villa, activities. Total cost is about £850, and I'd need two days of annual leave. On top of that there's the dress, the wedding itself and a separate local night out.
I offered to come for the Saturday only, or to do the local night and not the trip. She said the trip is the main event, all the bridesmaids are expected to come, and if I can't make it I 'maybe shouldn't be a bridesmaid'.
The other side says the bride, as the complainant tells it
She says she told everyone about the plans a year in advance so people could save, it's her once in a lifetime celebration, and that other bridesmaids with less money than me are making it work. She feels I don't prioritise her.
Jury discussion (6 comments)
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'Maybe you shouldn't be a bridesmaid' over a hen do budget. Say the word and hand back the dress.
Hen dos have got completely out of hand. A nice dinner is enough.
A year's notice is helpful but it doesn't make £850 plus leave affordable for everyone.
You offered two alternatives. That's not not prioritising her.
The Saturday only option is genuinely generous considering flights.
I'd want to know if the other bridesmaids are quietly struggling too. Often they are.