My best friend keeps bringing her new partner to our girls' nights. Can I say no?
The complainant says
Four of us have had a monthly girls' night for about eight years. Dinner, wine, catching up on everything. My best friend started seeing someone three months ago and has brought him to the last three.
He's nice enough, but the whole vibe has changed. Nobody talks about anything personal, and he spends a lot of the evening on his phone. I messaged her privately asking if we could keep it to the four of us. She said she wants us all to get to know him and that I'm making her choose between us.
The other side says the best friend, as the complainant tells it
She says it's important to her that her friends and partner get along, and she doesn't see why he can't come to something so casual. She says the others haven't complained, so I'm the only one with a problem.
Jury discussion (5 comments)
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'The others haven't complained' to her. I bet they've complained to each other.
The group chat without her is definitely on fire
Girls' night is in the name. Suggest a separate dinner with partners so everyone can get to know him properly.
Three months in and he's at every girls' night. That's a lot, and her reaction to a gentle ask is a lot too.
Maybe she's nervous and wants her friends' approval. Still doesn't mean every single one.