My friend didn't invite me to her birthday but posted photos. Should I say something?
The complainant says
We've been friends since secondary school, fifteen years. We talk most weeks. Last weekend I saw photos of her birthday meal with about ten people, including two of our mutual friends. I hadn't been invited or even told it was happening.
I sent a message saying I was a bit hurt to find out through social media. She replied that it was 'just a small thing' and she didn't think I'd want to come because it was mostly work people. I said that was my decision to make. Now she's saying I made her birthday about me.
The other side says the friend, as the complainant tells it
She says it was a casual dinner organised last minute by a colleague, she didn't plan the guest list, and she didn't expect me to travel for it. She feels she shouldn't have to justify every event she goes to, even her own birthday.
Jury discussion (5 comments)
Deliver your verdict to join the deliberation. Back to the case.
Comment on the dispute, not the people. No names, guesses about who anyone is, or abuse. Jury room rules.
It's fine not to be invited to everything. It's the two mutual friends that makes it sting.
Fifteen years of friendship earns you at least a heads up. 'Didn't think you'd want to come' is a classic.
Hurt is valid. Messaging about it right after seeing the photos is maybe not the best timing though.
Need more info. Did the colleague organise it or did she? That's the whole case.
Right? Last minute colleague dinner is totally different from a planned party.