My mum keeps rearranging my kitchen when she visits. Can I ask her to stop?
The complainant says
My mum visits for a weekend every month or so. Each time, while I'm at work on Friday, she 'helps' by reorganising my kitchen cupboards. Mugs move. The spices get alphabetised. Last time she threw away a bag of flour that was a week out of date and a jar of something she 'didn't recognise' (it was miso).
It takes me days to find everything. I asked her gently to leave the kitchen alone and she got upset and said she was only trying to help because I work so hard.
The other side says the mum, as the complainant tells it
She says she's being useful while she's there, she finds the kitchen chaotic and hard to cook in, and that most people would be grateful for help. She feels like she can't do anything right.
Jury discussion (5 comments)
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She threw away the miso. There are lines.
Give her a specific job instead. 'Mum, would you mind sorting the freezer?' Channel the energy.
Honestly this is genius. She wants to feel useful.
My mum does this too and I've accepted my mugs now live wherever she decides.
It's your kitchen. You can love her and still ask her not to reorganise it.